Color 1981 running time 98 min.
Director: Val Tailor
Starring: Josh Ramse, Syd Monrow, Sandy Filscent and Clark Tad as the voice of The Demon Lord
The only thing more stupid than the title of this film, is the film itself. I really can’t believe this got made. But there is some nice but prosaic cinematography along the way. There is a title at the beginning that states “Camerawork Ted Jacobs”. I suppose this is the Director of Photography. But the photography isn’t enough to carry this terrible movie. The first twenty minutes of this movie is all setup. We meet a couple that has just moved to a small New England town. They begin to feel “creeped out” by the looming old house on the hill above them. This is accented by eccentric towns-folk who keep speaking of a curse and a haunted swamp on the couple’s property. Josh Ramse plays Dickey Card a newspaperman from the big city, he has moved here to take a job with the local paper and quickly becomes friends with his editor Tommy played by Syd Monrow. His wife Jane stays at home, she cleans the house, drinks J&B straight from the bottle and naps on the couch only to have horrible nightmares about the swamp and “a strange presence that surrounds [her]”. Soon Jane begins to hear a voice that is commanding her. She gets naked and has convulsions on the floor; she froths at the mouth and eventually gets stigmata. Dickey suspects the swamp is the source of all these strange events. He enlists Tommy’s ancient mother who is seasoned in the forgotten arts of the occult to help decode these strange happenings. She explains that the demon is coming and “all will pay, who deny him his will”. One night while Dickey is sleeping Jane approaches him, but she is pale and obviously possessed. She tries to seduce Dickey but he gets wise and tells her “You can try to chain my soul. But all you’ll get is a fist in the face”. After the shirtless Dickey slaps her around, Jane snaps out of it and begins to sob. The next morning the body of Tommy’s mother floats to the top of the swamp (which looks more like a pond) as we hear the maniacal laughter of the Demon Lord. Now Dickey can hear the Demon too, and he delivers the line “Get outta my head, Hell Spawn” while clutching his head. This is a great relief to Jane. Now she knows she’s not crazy. But her relief is cut short by a lawnmower that powers up on it’s own and completely mangles her. Now Dickey has the voice in his head saying: “Kill them all” over and over. A title appears that tells us it is now six months later. Dickey goes back to work and all his co-workers are concerned for his well-being. He seems stunned. He asks one of his peers what he’s writing. The peer tells him that Tommy died yesterday and he’s writing the obituary. Dickey says, “When you’re done with that one, start writing your own”. He produces a hatchet and starts cutting the man to bits. There’s a still frame of Dickeys deranged face, music amps up and the credits roll.
Now you can sigh because you made it through one of the worst films ever made.